My Friend's Potato/Martian Diet

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My Friend's Potato/Martian Diet

Post by k.d. » Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:27 pm

I've enjoyed potatoes immensely my whole life. Never thought much about them except they taste good: baked (loaded with butter, sour cream, salt, pepper, chives) boiled (with lots of butter salt, pepper and more butter) mashed (topped with a boatful of gravy salt, pepper, and sometimes corn) pancakes( butter, pure maple syrup, applesauce) french fried (with ketchup, tarter sauce, lots of salt and pepper) potato chips (ketchup on the side) hash browns (fried in duck fat with a hearty supply of ketchup salt and pepper on the side) American fries (same as hash browns), tater tots, meh, I can take or leave them.
Regardless, I love taters and have no problem eating them every single day.
Recently I've found out that a 'potato diet' has become popular, possibly because of a movie - something about a Martian. Don't ask me - I don't watch many movies. Probably the newest movie I've seen is Caddy Shack - but that another story.

Oh, potatoes. Right. So a longtime musician friend of mine has made me want to kill him because he won't stop talking about this effing potato/Martian diet. He watches way too many movies. His house is littered, cluttered and overrun with Star Trek, Star Wars, Batman, Super Heroes bullshit everywhere. His total wardrobe style consists of hundreds of T shirts promoting all this crap.If that isn't bad enough, he weighs 400lbs and is shaped like a root beer barrel and about the same height as one. Naturally, he has some health problems. He has had his chest sawed open for a heart bypass, diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and too many other problems for me to remember them all. His cupboards look like a pharmacy.

To his credit, he has decided to take this ugly bull by the horns and change his lifestyle (but not his wardrobe) and attempt to get healthy via a natural course of action. I cannot commend him highly enough for this sincere effort. For the last several months he has devoutly stayed with a plant-based diet (Dr. McDougall's regimen) and has eliminated all meat, dairy, oils, and fats. He's already down about 50 lbs, but he still has the shape of a short, fat barrel. however, this change in diet has allowed him to get off all but two of his Big Pharma treats. Again, I am extremely proud of my friend for his determination and stick-to-it-evness.

Then came this potato/Martian diet. I'm sure he was influenced by the Martian movie. He's easily swayed by that type of crap. He thinks he's living in a cartoon or something. Seriously though, I think McDougall has been pushing this potato thing for awhile and you can read about other people around the world doing it and showing their results on You Tube. They don't bother me because I don't deal with them everyday. But, I gotta listen to my friend post about it, video it, blog about it 3 or 4 times a day. He is driving me batty. He posts pictures of his breakfast, a bowl of dry looking lumpy mashed potatoes. He posts picture of his lunch, a lonely unpeeled potato on a plate with sprinkles of Mrs. Dash's seasoning scattered over it. He posts pictures of his dinner, several potatoes, fork-smashed with poor Mrs. Dash laying on them.

I support my friend - I really do. I know he's not an idiot, but...

To reassure myself that it is not I who is insane, I did some digging (pun intended) into the potato's history.

Briefly, the potato has been around for over 10,000 years. People seemed to like them, grow them, and eat them. Since the first days of science, every generation throughout the potato's history have examined, researched, tested the spuds nutritional value and as new discoveries regarding vitamins, amino acids, enzymes, etc, progressed, the potato was re-examined to see what advantages it held. Even the latest in modern technological tests on nutritional value of the spud confirms it is a valuable
resource for humans and is indeed a healthy tubular tube of goodness.

Unfortunately, what studies, research and scientists have not found, is that it is magical, like say, Lucky Charms. It will not cure disease, will not make you more attractive, will not make you more athletic or artistic or provide any other magical properties.

It is with heavy heart that I must bust my friend's belief in a magical potato and inform him that the potato is simply a delicious, nutritious food like an apple is, also.

Will he listen to me? Hell no. He'll continue on his potato diet for his scheduled two weeks and believe in magic. And as his friend I will show my solidarity with him by embarking on a two week, magical trip of my own - the potato Vodka diet.
“Everything government touches turns to crap.”

― Ringo Starr

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